


his story is told now; but what about the universe?

by lonelydoctors



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: A lonely Doctor at the end of his time, Angst, Eleventh Doctor and the Universe, Gen, The Doctor and His Universe, The Doctor comes to terms with his fate, and his TARDIS, and reminisces about his life, and the only thing he's got left is the universe, and the universe, but also kind of positive at the end?, he's also very lonely, i guess, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelydoctors/pseuds/lonelydoctors
Summary: And once again it was just him.The lone traveller, the dreamer of improbable dreams. The night and the storm in the heart of the sun and the very, very last of his kind.Well, him and his box.As it was always going to be. As it was always going to end. // Character Study for the Eleventh Doctor and his relationship with the universe as he reminisces about his life. | ANGST!





	his story is told now; but what about the universe?

****And once again it was just him.

The lone traveller, the dreamer of improbable dreams. The night and the storm in the heart of the sun and the very, very last of his kind.

Well, him _and_ his box.

As it was always going to be. As it was always going to end.

 

The Doctor was sitting in the open doorway of the TARDIS, letting his feet dangle freely in the big vastness of the universe, spread out below him, above him, beside him, _all around_ him. 

 

His gaze fixed itself again on the surface of the Earth, so very far away from where he was now. He just couldn’t help himself, it was like his eyes were somehow _drawn_ to this planet, whenever it was in sight. Briefly, he wondered why that was. Why, of all the planets, had he chosen to become so attached to the Earth and its people? Was it even a choice? He doubted it, somehow.

 

His lips broke into a small smile, as he watched the Earth intently from his place high up in the sky, but his eyes glistened just the tiniest bit and if you really looked hard you’d notice that these eyes were a lot older and filled with much more grief and pain than one could imagine.

 

It seemed so far away, so very small and fragile, amidst all the other sensations and wonderssurrounding it, like it could easily be discarded off and forgotten about. However, The Doctor knew that to be very definitely false. In fact, every single planet, every singe atom in this wonderful and magnificent universe mattered to him, more than he had ever been able to express.

He would need a thousand more lifetimes to even come close, but he was afraid he wouldn’t even get a single one.

 

Among all the planets he’d visited, all the species he’d encountered, he’d have to admit that he was especially fond of the Earth, though. Perhaps it didn’t have blazing sunsets, a thousand moons or water that flows upwards, but the people of planet Earth would always have a special place in his hearts. Their bravery, compassion and beliefs entranced him time and time again, like nothing ever quite like it, making it impossible for him to ever turn his back.

 

He loved the adventure, the thrill of the chase.

He loved the moment when they entered his TARDIS, eyes all big and sparkling with wonder and excitement.

He loved the fact that there was so much left to learn that they could teach him.

He loved the travelling with someone else, sharing the wonders and the beauty of the universe instead of bearing it alone.

He loved sharing his knowledge of things, of phenomenons and spectacles with others, giving them a glimpse of what it was like to see the universe with his eyes.

 

A quiet laughter escaped his mouth, as he reminisced about all the countless times he’d been called out by his friends on talking utter rubbish. Granted, maybe sometimes he does like to be a tad dramatic.

 

Just then, a flurry of lights were whizzing by, just below his dangling feet, travelling at a speed, barely slow enough to be seen, but not quite slow enough to admire for more than an instant, before they had vanished again in the blink of an eye.

 

The Doctor opened his mouth in childlike excitement to explain that these were, in fact, remnants from the solar storm happening lightyears away, but he abruptly froze mid-motion, mouth opened, finger raised and eyes sparkling with knowledge, waiting to be shared, as he realised.

He had nobody left to share it with, anymore.

 

The familiar feeling of loneliness crept into his hearts, making its way through his body like shards of ice, freezing him from the inside out. His breathing became more shallow and he closed his eyes, no longer able to bear the intensity of the universe any longer.

 

Just then, the cloister bell of the TARDIS made a soft, whirring sound, like it wanted to reassure him, to _comfort_ him.

The Doctor’s face broke into a smile. “Stupid old me… You’re right, old girl… this is no time to be moping around. I’ve had my share, haven’t I?”

 

He reached up and slowly, almost carefully, caressed the doorframe of the TARDIS.

 

“We’ve had fun, _so much_ fun, eh? So many memories…”, his voice drifted off, carried away into the infinite space until it disappeared into nothingness.

“But everything has to end sometime. We knew that from the start, didn’t we?”, The Doctor smiled and gave a little huff as he patted the TARDIS fondly, the skin around his eyes crinkling as they filled with sadness.

 

For over 1000 years, The Doctor had been living in this universe, making an impact, making a difference.

Everywhere he went, everything and everyone he touched, he left a trace.

The Doctor in the TARDIS, saving civilisations and planets.

The Madman in a Box, travelling among the stars.

The Time Lord who ran away, telling stories of planets long gone and lives yet to come.

 

In a way, the universe had also lived through The Doctor.

 

However, nobody can live as the universe, let alone _outlive_ it.

Not even The Doctor.

 

Very soon now, it would be time to say goodbye. For The Doctor as well as for the universe. They both did each other good, giving and taking equally, like a beautifully constructed ideal of a relationship.

Even so, not even the universe could change the fact that everything has to end sometime. Otherwise nothing could ever get started.

 

The Doctor knows that, he _really_ does, better than anyone. Yet still, he suddenly finds himself wiping silent tears from his cheeks as he takes his next shaky breath.

He cries, for all the good times he's had, for all the bad things he's seen and all the hope he's given to those who needed it most.

He cries, for his own life and for those he couldn't save.

He cries, for everything that's happened and everything that's yet to come.

 

He’ll be a story now, roaming his beloved universe through the spoken word of the many travellers.

Are the people of the Earth going to make him into a fairytale? The Doctor and the universe, a story of adventures and hope, that dispels sorrow and grief and loneliness, and it will _never_ be forgotten.

He wouldn’t mind that at all, he thinks, as another smile tugs at his lips, making him look even more ridiculous than usual, with his tear-stained cheeks and goofy smile.

 

His story was told now but every story has to end sometime and while it may seem cruel or unfair — _why him? Why can’t he be spared? He was special! Him and the universe, the universe and him, that’s how it could forever be!_ —deep down, The Doctor knew that it was the only right thing.

 

Very slowly, almost painfully so, he got up from where he had been sitting for hours now, merely gazing at the universe, drinking in every last bit of it, and walked over to the console of the TARDIS.

 

He caressed the various buttons and levers, an affectionate look on his face, his eyes glistening with love and regret.

 

“One last trip, eh?”, and he pulled the lever, taking him to his last destination, with a look of determination in his eyes that spoke of inner peace.

 

 

_I’m The Doctor. I was here to help. And you are very, very welcome._

 

 

The universe will live on, even without The Doctor, but as long as it lives, The Doctor lives with it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading my story! ^_^ kudos and comments are much appreciated and would honestly make my day! also hmu on tumblr for more stuff! --> [lonelydoctors](http://lonelydoctors.tumblr.com)


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